BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Damn alarm clock, Kelly thought as he rolled over in bed. He had just about found the niche in his bed, when the alarm clock went off again, a bit muffled this time. Yawning with the satisfaction that he had beaten his alarm clock, he remembered why he needed to be up.
Class! Test! Newspaper! Oh shit!
He untangled himself from the sheets and thumped his way to the bathroom to get ready. His roommate’s girlfriend popped her head up and sleepily glared at him. Kelly didn’t really feel that bad about waking her up at 7:30; she and Jake were up most of the night again. Well, not really "up", considering that they'd spent most of that time in bed. Kelly had come to dread the phrase "Don’t worry, he’s asleep. He won’t even notice." It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so loud. If he and Ana....
The thought of Ana brought on the feeling of dread. He needed to call her. Tonight, he thought as he packed his bag to leave. He stopped for a second. He'd said that yesterday too. To Rae, Ana's best friend. Luckily, she knew what was going to happen. He knew what was going to happen. Heck, practically everyone knew what was going to happen. He and Ana had be drifting apart since their high school graduation. One of the major reasons for this was because of the fact that he went to Florida State and she went to MIT. Though he tried to keep the long distance relationship going, she was more interested in Calculus equations and the laws of thermodynamics.
He sighed as he left the dorm. He should call Ana after he talked to the FSView people. Though he was a freshman, he knew he had a good chance of....
He noticed the group of people standing outside of the Williams building. He barely noticed that they were a part of his journalism class. What he really noticed was the fact that the Williams building wasn’t there anymore. There was a little wooden building in its place.
"Excuse me. Let me though!" said a professor as he tunneled his way though the crowd. He went up to the door of the shack and knocked on it. After a few seconds a tall man, wearing a hat, opened the dorm. He looked at the professor and the crowd of people behind him and ran inside. Two other men and three boys came out, with pitchforks. A few of the girls around him screamed and some of the larger college students in the crowd came up behind the professor to back him up.
"Oh, there’s no need for that," the professor said soothingly, "I was just wondering where our building was. Have you seen it?" Kelly was amazed that the professor could act so calm. It was like he was asking the men with pitchforks if they knew where his glasses were.
However, the oldest of the boys were not having it. He tried to break though the other members of his family to get at the crowd. The one who answered the door stopped him, knocking his hat off in the process.
The crowd was quite noisy up to that point. There was silence while the crowd looked at the boy’s head. He had pointy ears.
"No, Sean, Stop!" yelled the father, as he walked out the door. He looked out at the large crowd of people.
And then he noticed the professor’s ears.
"Duine?" the farmer said in disbelief.
"Elves?" said the professor.
Kelly didn’t know what was going on, but one thing he was sure of- there was going to be no test today.
Rae caught up to him at 'Crossroads'. He was already half way though his third plate of food, when she sat down right next to him.
"Well, Sally is gone!" she said
"Hmm?" Kelly’s mouth was full of food.
"You know my dorm? It’s gone. There’s brothel in its place. I was woken up this morning by some guy who thought I was a whore!"
"What did you do?"
She smiled; Kelly hated that smile. She smiled that way when her ex-boyfriend told her he was breaking up with her because he wasn't getting enough sex. He wasn’t able to wrestle for two months.
"Oh," was all that Kelly said. He continued "I hoped you didn’t dump the body near my dorm. It’s bad enough that there’s a cow field next to it now."
"Don’t worry. Red Devil Lye is a beautiful thing. Actually I just kicked him in the balls and ran. I didn’t bother to go back for my stuff, considering that it doesn’t exist anymore."
"That sucks. Have you seen the news?"
"Of course I’ve seen the news! I’ve seen way too much of the news. In 3-D, too."
"That’s not what I meant. You were lucky to still be there. Most of the time the people went with the buildings, too. No one knows what going on. The president just spoke, advising us to do nothing hostile, to stay calm, and all that B.S."
"That’s easy for him to say. He still has a place to sleep."
"Actually the White House is gone too. If you need a place to sleep, you can stay at my dorm. I’m sure my roomie won’t mind."
When they got back to the dorm, Jake was in front of the TV, staring at it.
"Pretty shocking, huh?" commented Kelly.
"Shocking? Shocking!" He looked at Kelly with a crazed look. "This is pretty fucking freaky! I mean this is Lord of the Rings and AD&D all rolled up in one." Then he noticed Rae. "Oh, hi," he looked at Kelly, "What's SHE doing here?"
"My dorm is gone. I'm staying here." Rae answered for him
"Oh, no you're not!" Jake said, looking to Kelly.
"Hey, she has no place to go."
"And I think you owe Kelly a break considering you fuck your whore of a girlfriend every night when he's across the room."
"Rae!" Kelly said. This wasn't going to be pretty.
Jake looked down at the ground, surprising Kelly. "Well I guess I do owe Kelly...."
"Good then it's settled," Kelly said quickly before he could change his mind. "So what do you think of the news? Actually, I was thinking more like Star Trek instead of The Hobbit, you know. With the whole 'everyone speaks English' thing."
"What?" said Jake, stared at Kelly like he was crazy, but Kelly didn’t notice.
"Well, I've got to do laundry. The president said not to do anything hostile, and I know that pile of clothes is about to declare war on us all." He grabbed the laundry basket."You guys have fun." He said as he went out the door.
"You so aren't leaving me alone with..." Rae started. Jake just watched him go out the door. "You’ve known him since high school, right?" he said.
"Yeah," she replied, with a disdainful look on her face, "Why do you ask?"
Jake began to say something and stop. He scratched his head, looked at her and finally said, "How fucking crazy do you have to be to be doing laundry when half of Santa’s god damn workshop has taken over campus?"
Kelly merrily hummed as he walked down the stairs to the laundry room. However, all of the machines in the room were taken and there were 3 other people waiting for the machines.
"You’ll figure at a time like this, you might actually find an empty machine," said someone.
"Yeah, but with everything so screwy, people are looking for some sort of normalcy in their life. And what’s more normal than doing laundry?" a boy replied. A psych major, probably.
"True," said someone else. "Do you know what I heard? Someone said that it’s an alien invasion..." And with that Kelly decided to try to sneak into Gilchrist to use their machines.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Damn soda machine!" screamed Jake, as he banged on it. He pressed the button a few more times, hoping that the soda can will pop out. A RA showed up.
"Here," she said with a smile. She banged the machine on the side and a soda popped out
"How the hell did you do that?" he asked.
Her smile grew bigger as she said, "It’s magick!"
"What?" he asked as she giggled and walked away. Jake sighed and thought Some people smoke way too much pot.
Kelly felt sort of stupid waiting in front of Gilchrist for someone to open the door, so he decided to try the side door to see if there was more traffic going in and out of there. As he lugged his laundry basket, he ran into someone.
"Excuse me," he said and walked on. Then someone grabbed him. A tall elf with blue eyes looked at him.
"You speak my language?" he asked.
"No, you’re speaking mine!" he replied.
The elf laughed a bit and said, "I was right, the magick is stronger. You might be able to help me."
"But..." Kelly said weakly, "my laundry..." What the hell is going on? He thought.
"Here’s your damn soda," said Jake.
"Thanks," replied Rae, distracted. She was watching a news report.
He looked at her a bit nervously. "So did they say anything new?"
"Oh." He looked around the room.
"Why are you so nervous? I doubt an elf would find their way in here... What the fuck? Kelly!"
Jake turned around and saw Kelly with an elf.
"Hey, everybody, ah... This is Ryan," he said awkwardly. The others in the room just stared at him. Ryan said something in ... Elvish?
Kelly replied back; the only words Jake could make out were his name and Rae's.
"Well, that explains the Vulcan comment," Rae said.
"So..." Jake started, "Where did you find him?"
"On my way to do laundry. Seems I'm like some sort of polylinguist or something. I always thought it was funny that I learned 5 languages so quickly..."
"So how did you learn Elvish?" Rae inquired.
"Well, Ryan says that the magickal energy has increased, thus any ability that one has increases."
"I think he's gone off the deep end," commented Jake quietly, "Magick? There's no such thing!" Rae ignored him. Ryan said something to Kelly and Kelly started talking for a while.
"Now what's he saying?" Jake said disgusted.
"Probably repeating our conversation. It is sort of rude to have one when there's someone in the room that doesn't understand the language."
"Humf" Jake replied, taking a sip from his Mountain Dew.
When Kelly stopped repeating what was said to Ryan, there was an akward silence in the dorm.
"Ahh..." said Jake, a loss for words. "Anybody want a drink?" Kelly repeated the request for Ryan, who brightened up immediately.
"Do you have something sweet?" asked Ryan.
"I don't know. What do we have, Jake?"
"Well..." Jake opened up the dorm fridge. "We have that crap soda that you drink...
"HEY! There's nothing wrong with Coke..." Kelly protested
"...some purple stuff Kelly came up with in the fall, and I have..."
"Got any Sunny D?" joked Rae.
"No... We ran out yesterday." said Jake scarcticly, giving Rae a dirty look.
"What? Haven't you ever seen the commercial? You try to make a joke..."
Ryan grabbed the bottle of the purple substance that was on the table and opened...and quickly closed it, before the rank smell filled the room. "I think I'll take whatever is in the red container."
"I think it attacked him, Kelly. I TOLD you to throw out that bottle before we left for Christmas..." Rae gave Jake a dirty look.
"What? Now THAT was funny...."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." said Kelly unconvincingly, "Now, go give our pointy-eared friend a coke, Jay Leno."
"Here," said Jake, opening it for him as he passed it over. Ryan lined up the hole to his mouth and took a sip. He made a face.
"What's wrong?" asked Rae with Kelly asking a second later. Jake just snickered.
"This IS sweet!" exclaimed Ryan.
"You don't like it?"
"No no no It's good. But I've never had anything so sweet in my life. And bubbly. How do you get the bubbles in?"
Kelly laughed and repeated the comment.
"Well what do you expect for something that is just carbonated water and corn syrup?" Rae said.
A girl walked out of the library, slightly ticked off that her Biology professor still wanted that ten page paper the next morning.
"Hey! Kate!" said someone behind her. It was one of her friends from the youth group. "What's up?"
"Cyler still wants his paper tomorrow morning..."
"I TOLD you to take Starr with me. But NOOOO... you didn't want to get up at eight o'clock in the morning."
"We even had class today and notes and stuff..." she continued
"Don't worry. I just talked to my RA and she said that they were canceling classes tomorrow and probably for the rest of the semester, considering that half the buildings are gone. We are still having youth group tonight though. Are you coming?"
"I don't know... This whole thing is really shocking." Especially for her, considering....
"Yeah, and that's why you should go." her friend said, interrupting her train of thought.
"I'll see how I feel tonight. "
"Okay, we are starting around 4 instead of 7, so that we will be done before dark. Don't know what's out there..."
"Okay." she said and continued back to her dorm to finish her paper. She was almost done with the paper any ways, just in case Cyler DID have class tomorrow. Or just required them to put it in his mail box.
And it would keep her mind off of things. Things like how every time she saw an elf, she was reminded of her father...
Luckily for them, their guests were easily amused.
"The TV, the world's best babysitter," Jake commented.
"Oh shut up you," Rae retorted, still watching the News program. She changed the channel a few times and settled on Maury. Ryan, who had been sitting quietly, staring at the television with a slightly awed look, jumped when she changed the channel.
"MSN is gone too," Kelly announced. He and Jake were doing research on the situation to see what the hell was going on.
"Maybe Microsoft went with it?" said Jake hopefully.
"And Disney. Disney's evil... CNN is still here! And SHIT!"
"What?" Jake asked.
"My web site is gone."
"Oh," said Rae unimpressed, "and I lost my WHOLE FUCKING DORM!!!"
"Hey I lost my car too." Kelly said.
"What does CNN say?" Jake asked, pulling up the web site. "The same bull shit that they said on tv... and OH! a summary of Elven mythology." He pulled that up. "This is more bull shit. They are using Tolkien as a reference. I mean he's a great writer but that's FICTION."
"Well, he did base his work on myths and stuff."
"So reference the myths. Don't use secondary sources..."
Kelly's watch went off. "Well time to put the clothes in the dryer..." He got up and left the room. Everyone watched him leave the room.
"Freak," said Jake.
Kate left her dorm to drop her paper off at her professor's mail box. She avoided the areas that were elven and walked up to the Biology building. The door was locked.
"Oh crud," she said. "Now what?" A grad student noticed her at the door. He opened it from the inside.
"What do you need?"
"Can I get in? I need to turn in this paper for Cyler."
"Here. I'll take it and drop it by his mailbox," he offered. Kate handed him the paper and he closed the door.
"Okay," she said, "What to do now?" She looked at her watch and saw that it was 3:30. Well, maybe she would go to the youth group meeting...
Someone grabbed her arm and put a cloth over her face. She didn't really a chance to struggle much as the substance in the cloth knocked her out. She fell to the ground.
Two muddy elves lifted Kate onto their horse and rode off.
Kelly was putting his clothes in the dryer when a group of frat boys walked into the laundry room. Kelly sighed and put some quarters into the machine.
"Hey! Do you live here?" one of them asked. Kelly sighed again, turned on the machine and tried to walk out of the room. One of the frat boys stopped.
"What do you think?" he asked his friends.
"He's that geek from my English class. I doubt he's ever been laid."
"What?" Kelly asked confused. "Hey, I'm sorry about using your washers, but the one's in Landis were all taken." he explained, though he doubted that these guys were even in the honor's program, much less living in an honors dorm.
"Landis? He's in the honor's program. I'm sure he's a virgin now."
"Hey," said Kelly slightly offended. "I'm not a virgin!"
"Sure... That's what they all say. Come on and grab him so we can get our pot." Just then Kelly noticed that they were armed with baseball bats. He tried to pull away.
"Hey! I'm tell you guys again, I am NOT a virgin. I have had a girl freind in boston and I use trojans..." he stopped when he realized that they weren't paying attention to him.
"I told you we'd score in these honor's dorms." said one of them, rasing his bat.
Kelly struggled to get away from them but they were bigger than he was. They man-handled him out of the laundry room.
"What the hell is he doing?" wondered Jake, "he's been sitting there for the past half and hour reading. I mean I doubt that he could understand organic chemistry, much less anything in English." And where the fuck was Kelly....
"I don't know. But he has some sort of weird glow around him, since he started."
"Weird glow? What weird glow" repeated Jake, "Wait a minute, Don't tell me your one of those new age chicks?"
"No..." replied Rae, "Though, I was Wiccan in high school."
"I was right! You ARE one of those New Age chicks."
"Well, I bet your one of those science geeks that don't believe anything until it's been dissected and studied a hundred times!" Rae retorted.
"Yeah, well," Jake said, "What's wrong with that! You can't disagree with cold hard fact!"
"Cold hard fact based on the BELIEF that what happens today also happened in the past."
"What's wrong with that?"
"You weren't there! How COULD you know that it happened?"
"So basically you are saying that dinosaurs didn't exist because no one saw it?"
"No, but based on your belief, there is a possibility Magick does exist."
"There is NO proof that magic exists."
"Can someone tell me where the bathroom is?" the elf suddenly asked.
"It's three doors down the hall on your left," Jake replied automatically. Then it hit him "What?"
Ryan looked confused. "But we are on the third floor. How could a bathroom be inside?"
Rae laughed, "No proof magick exists, huh? Bathrooms are inside. Outhouses, what you are probably thinking of, are outside."
"Outhouse? That term wasn't in any of the books I've read or on the TV."
Jake finally found his voice, "How are you speaking English, all of the sudden?"
"I cast a ritual spell that allowed me to pick up your language. By the way," Ryan picked up a book on the bed. "This book was quite interesting, " saying of the book on Salem Witch Trails, "as were the chemistry books."
"So basically you said some mubble jumble and WHOOSH you can speak English?"
"No, an incantation wasn't necessary, though I had to swallow some unpleasant tasting plants which was why I was glad for the drink. And one does have to have mental focus, of course. And can you please clarify this bathroom/outhouse thing? I really need to go."
Rae looked at Jake and laughed. "Go on Jake. Show our guest how to use the potty."
"He's not MY guest," mumbled Jake under his breath, as he got up.
"Is it far to the bathroom?" asked Ryan.
I'm going to kill Kelly when he gets back, Jake thought.
"Here's your virgin. Where's my weed, man?" said the frat boy, throwing Kelly on the ground.
"I told about a hundred times, I AM NOT A VIRGIN," Kelly screamed. He looked up and saw about three very dirty elves.
"I'm not a virgin," said Kelly in Elvish. The elves looked back at him, surprised. The tallest of the three, looked at the woman next to him. She closed her eyes and opened them at looked very intently at Kelly for a few minutes and shook her head. "He's neither a virgin or a female. He's useless to us."
"See!" Kelly said to the frat boys. "They agree I'm not a virgin and they need a girl anyways. You should let me go!"
"Shut up!" said one of the frat boys and kicked him in the stomach.
"But he does speak our language," countered the tallest elf. "Hmmm... Is Tale still in town?"
The third elf smiled, "He better be! He was suppose to supply us with the sacrifice today."
"Well, we shall see if he is interested in this one. He'll fetch a mighty fine price at the slave market."
"Slave Market?" Kelly echoed, "Hey! This is the United States! Slavery is illegal!" The elves grabbed Kelly and began to drag him off.
"Hey! where's our weed!" complained on of the frat boys. The female elf looked at Kelly.
"Tell your friends that we will give them Marijuana, if they bring us a virgin female."
"They aren't friends of mine," said Kelly. He switched to English, "Hey, these elves are ripping you off! They are going to take me away and sell me AND not give you any pot!"
"What the fuck is that!" said the fattest of the frat boys raising his bat. He ran after the elves.
One of the elves turned around and jumped into the air. The frat boy swung his bat at the elf. The elf somehow managed to avoid the bat and while landing slit the frat boys throat at the same time. Blood squirted everywhere, covering the elf, Kelly and the nearest of the frat boys. The three remaining frat boys turned deathly white and ran away screaming.
The other two elves watched them run.
"Cowards," the female commented about the frat boys and kicked Kelly in the groin and told him "next time you try to pull something, I will cut them off instead." and nodded to the male elves to continue dragging him away.
A thousand thoughts swirled though Kelly's mind, none of them coherent; all of them colored with fear and horror at what he just witnessed.
The dying frat boy lay there on the ground slowly bleeding to death, forgotten by his killers and forgotten by his friends.
But Kelly will never forget. He would relive it every time he closed his eyes.